Right Where I Am At

It brought a smile to my face when I reread my first blog post tonight. It was good to remember what my original goal was when I began blogging. At the same time, it was good to take some time off - time to think more about what I want to write and why I am writing. I'm feeling a bit refreshed now and ready to share more of my life with you. 

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If there is anything I have learned about being a "stay at home mom", it's that stay at home moms don't really stay at home! They tend to morph into chauffeur, grocery getter, errand running, planner type people.  I wonder who came up with the term "stay at home mom"!  

I can't lay claim to being the best stay at home mom ever. But, I do know what it is like to fill my days. Whether that means focusing on my girls, going here or there for this or that, or spending time working on the computer, it is incredibly easy to stay busy!

It has become a necessity in my life to create a quieter lifestyle for several reasons. I don't need to get into all of that, but I can tell you that in doing so, I have truly enjoyed spending time in prayer and really seeking God out.

I am realizing more and more that we serve an audience of One. If we focus our attention on our Creator and seek His will, everything tends to fall in place. And no matter how awful I am (or feel about myself), God loves me. If I am willing to seek Him, He is willing to meet me right where I am at. And when I fall down, He will pick me up again. We are precious to Him. He is willing to wrap us all in His arms, extending His grace and mercy.

There are two songs that really have my attention tonight, both by Mercy Me. The first is called, "In the Blink of an Eye".  It's a great reminder that God has a plan for our lives. Let's live them to the fullest and embrace whatever it is that He might have for us. Click here to go to: "In the Blink of an Eye" MercyMe

The second song is a song that I really felt led to include. It's for someone who really needs to be reminded how special they are - even if they don't feel that way right now. No matter how you are feeling, you are treasured. You are sacred. And God loves you madly enough that He sent His son to die for you. You are precious. You are beautiful. Trust Him. Click here to go to: "Beautiful" by MercyMe 

Communication: Something to Value

Some have asked about the speeches I give. The following is an example of one of my speeches. I was thrilled to be able to present it to the NEW Toastmasters Group which met at Touchmark in Appleton today. If you would prefer to watch it, I can send you a link if you send me a message. I did record it today.

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Good afternoon, fellow Toastmasters! I am very thankful that you have allowed me to come in to speak with you today! Since it is my first time meeting with you, I decided that I would like to share the most impactful time of my life with you. To some extent, it is about the power of communication. All too often, I think that it is something that we take for granted. And sometimes, it is something we use before we think about what we are really saying.

For example: I was out and about one day. I saw a sign that read, "Ears pierced while you wait." Really?!!! I didn't think that I was going to just drop them off!

A friend of mine was offended when she received a letter in her mail. It wasn't so much the letter that offended her, as it was the line that read, "Please keep your private area clean." YIKES! I could not believe my ears! Even I was offended for her…until she laughed and told me that it was a newsletter from the condominium association. It was referring to their private property.

Laughter is powerful. It raises the spirits and keeps a person sane. Sometimes it is all we have to carry us through. November 5, 2009 was a beautiful day! It was sunny and seasonably warm. My 5 year old niece was staying with me for a few days. We had a great time throughout the day. We giggled, laughed, and played like only 5 year olds know how to do. She kept me busy until I was scheduled to teach piano after school got out. That is what I was doing when the phone rang.

I don't typically answer my house phone while I am teaching. However, my teenage daughters went to Appleton after school that day. When the phone rang, I excused myself. 45 minutes later, I found myself at Theda Clark's Emergency Room. I was taken to my daughter's room where I found her still covered in blood. She was scared. I was scared. I'm sure my niece was scared! I was relieved though. Blood covered or not, she appeared to be fine. But where was her sister? Where is Becca?

When police call to alert family of an accident, they don't share any details. I had no idea if Becca was alive or dead! Similarly, when doctors talk to you, they don't share everything. They share only what you need to know at that moment.

Time passed about as fast as time can pass when you are in that situation. Doctors, nurses, and police came in and out of the room. When we were taken to see the girls' friend Morgan who was also in the accident, I felt horrible when I saw her swollen, black & blue face. She had a shattered eye socket and a broken clavicle. As terrible as I felt for her, I knew she would be OK. I still needed to know about Becca. Is she okay?

At last, we were taken back to a room to talk to the doctor's in charge of my other daughter's case. I was shocked by all the people that filed into the room. By this time most of our family had arrived and were there to hear the same news we were. …The doctors finally told us Becca was alive! They had her stabilized, but had no idea what the outcome would be. Day upon endless day passed, stresses high.

An entire month passed before we left the intensive care unit. At last, the day came to remove her trach. Can you imagine going a whole month without hearing your daughter's voice? or being able to communicate with her at all? Knowing she could only say a couple sentences, her first words came out sounding a bit like ET as she asked, "When can I go home?" and were followed by a whimper. Heart-wrenching as her words were, they were music to my soul! I finally got to hear her voice again!

Her prognosis had been fairly bleak. MRIs showed that her brain looked as though she has been shot at close range by a shotgun. She spent 55 days at the hospital. Today, I rejoice in the power of prayer and the healing power of God. Becca has far surpassed all of what doctors projected. If you met her today, you may not know anything is wrong with her. She does have lingering effects from the traumatic brain injury and from the other trauma she sustained, but we continue to see healing and hope that someday she will live life close to what we, as society, say is normal.

We don’t realize the impact that words have on other people - or how much we appreciate the communication we have with one another until we lose it. I have been blessed to see the relationship between the three girls grow immensely. They are now the best of friends. I cherish their laughter every day!

I encourage you to choose your words wisely. It's fun to laugh at poorly worded sentences, but it is especially important to communicate well with those you work and live with. You've heard it said, "Live each day as if it is your last." The same idea may  be said about your words. Cherish your life and the people in it. May your words encourage as well as show love and respect for those around you. 

Just Full of ......... !

God works in such mysterious ways. I cannot fathom His love for me or why He chooses to bless me. I began reflecting on 2011 on Christmas Eve as I wrote the notes in my daughters' Christmas cards. For the sake of my memory and my family, I should take the time to start documenting a "simple" list of the highs and lows of this year. It is an incredible testimony to God's almighty hand at work. We have a book that our family writes in each Christmas, but I think the list this year (at least for me) would be a book in and of itself!

I'm not quite sure how it happened, but in the midst of Tony's vacation week, my schedule has been kind of crazy. I have something to fill my day every single day this week!

Tuesday needed to be declared a Toastmaster day. That night, was the first time for me to serve as the meeting director and facilitate the meeting. I was a tad bit nervous about that. There is an agenda to follow, but what if I forgot something and didn't follow all of the protocol? On top of that, I was to serve as an evaluator.

It all went fine. I think I am much tougher on myself than my fellow toastmasters are on me. They are so kind and supportive! I was complimented on both roles and won the award for the best evaluation. I haven't broken my winning streak yet - kind of like the Packers, I suppose. However, I am beginning to look forward to the day when I am not awarded the best of whatever I did that night because that will help me to grow my skill set some more. (part of the reason I enjoy traveling to other club meetings.)

After the meeting, I saw some people I knew at Walmart. We talked at length. I really don't know where it all came from. I was reminded of blessing after blessing, mixed with some of the trials my family has faced recently. One of them wondered why God lets people suffer so much before He sends the blessings. All I could tell her was that if God hadn't let us get down that far as a family, we wouldn't be who we are today. There were valuable lessons learned in the times we are so troubled.

I stayed up almost all night to prepare for Wednesday - a day I have looked forward to since November 5. I won tickets to the Milwaukee Art Museum and was invited to attend the show, meet for dinner, and participate in a Speak-a-thon. Tony agreed to go with me, so I planned to take him to a fun place for lunch. I was beside myself with excitement! I could barely focus on my speech (which I memorize and hadn't done yet).

Wednesday came. We left around 10AM with the faithful Garmin in hand. We used "her" to find the alley I was taking Tony to. She dutifully did her job, but chose to take us through the ghetto to get there. Very interesting! In fact, Tony does a pretty great comedy routine about that! To shorten my story, we had a fantastic day. The restaurant was fun, the Impressionist exhibit at the museum was fantastic, supper was amazing (after another trip through the ghetto! ), and the Speak-a-thon not only allowed me to speak, but to learn and meet new people. It has been a long time since Tony and I spent that much time alone together and chatted the whole time. It was really nice! By the end of the day, we learned that the entire trip had been funded for us! Incredible!

Today and tomorrow are filled with friends and family. My head is just spinning as I reflect. I don't know how I am going to be able to focus on writing the next four or five speeches this month, but when I do manage to complete them, I will be able to receive my Competent Communicator award. Fun! 

 I cannot believe how richly blessed my life is. Blessings...Thank God, I'm just filled with them! I pray that you are able to see all of the blessings in your life too!!!

Our Christmas

Waffles with strawberries and whipped cream are the tradition at our house. We clean up, regroup in the living room, read Scripture and reflect. This is the first year that both girls participated in purchasing gifts. They each have a job and took the responsibility on themselves without being told or asked. They purchased a gift for each other and a gift for their dad and I. But they put thought into what was purchased and it showed! Hannah even purchased a gift for the dog! I found it interesting that they wanted to give before they opened the gifts we had for them. It was fun! They had each picked up some overheard verbal cues and followed through on what was really wanted. Impressive!

Hannah was particularly curious this year. She asked me on Christmas Eve if they would each have three gifts to open - another Christmas tradition, symbolizing the gifts the three wise men took to Jesus. When she asked, I barely had one gift for them! I did have the idea for a second gift and knew how it could be taken care of though. A third gift...what could it be? I had some candy on hand. I put that in a small (and by small, I mean SMALL...think wedding favor size) bag.

A fancy lunch bag is the gift they chose first...the bag of candy... Not one complaint! Just appreciation for the smallest of small gifts. Second, they both received a tank top and shorts set that "magically grows" in water. I was worried they would think it was a lame gift. I had found it on a trip that I took this summer. It was meant to be a "filler" type gift. But they were a hit! Becca "grew" her clothes in a flash! Their final gift was a card, filled with a personal message and concluded with a coupon for a massage - a gift I knew they would both like to have.

We had a great time together and it really felt like we were able to focus more on the true meaning of Christmas. God has given us the ultimate gift of His Son, but we feel like we have been richly blessed by the lack of tangible items. It's a different concept than that of the all too common view of bigger is better and the more the merrier! Our true reward will be in heaven, but it feels like we have already received reward. Praise be to God!

I pray your holiday season has been as blessed as we feel ours has been. Happy holidays, everyone!

A Little Christmas Humbug?

I recently said hello to a friend on Facebook. I didn't even get a chance to ask about Christmas. Her immediate response was that she was running out the door and was putting up a tree she didn't want to put up. I kind of laughed and echoed her sentiments. Her response? "There is NOTHING wrong with NOT putting up a tree..people look at you like there is something wrong with you…maybe you can write a thing on that one."

The writing that follows is my response to her request:

No matter where I go this time of year, whether people know who I am or not, it seems I am asked if I am ready for Christmas. Really? Why do they want to know? Why all of this sudden small talk? Generally speaking, the questions are asking if my house is decorated and if I am finished shopping. Ugh!

If I had to name my favorite holiday, I think I would say Christmas - followed very closely by Easter. I'm not sure if anyone would be able to tell though. I have never been one who loves to decorate, although most years we do join in. It takes a lot of time and I don't feel like I am very good at it.

I enjoy special occasions. I like all the quirky little days that are thrown in just to make life fun - days like the appreciation days set aside for various workers, Sweetest Day, etc. My husband, on the other hand, does not seem to appreciate them like I do. In fact, my days of hoping that he will even consider getting me something for Sweetest Day are over! Long gone! He thinks they are ridiculous - just another day for Hallmark and the florist to make money.

The older I have gotten, the more life experiences I partake in, the more I see that commercialism running rampant throughout every holiday out there. More and more I appreciate the decorating and the work others have done to celebrate the Christmas holiday. But as for me, it is far from important to see the beautiful snow, the wonderful lights, and the nicely decorated Christmas tree. Am I ready for Christmas? Sure, as long as that doesn't mean I have spent a lot of money on gifts or spent hours decorating!

At the center of my favorite holidays is the true meaning behind them. Our Messiah was born and at Easter time we celebrate God's amazing gift explained to us in John 3:16. "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

As we celebrate, we remember our family and friends and love to spend time with them. The combination of Biblical truth and our relationships with loved ones is what truly makes the holiday special to me.

Decorating seems like an extension of the commercialism my husband despises on Sweetest Day. Yet, at the same time, when I start to decorate, it really takes on a completely different meaning. The decorating ceases to be a chore; it quickly becomes a time filled with great memories. You see, most of my decorations (perhaps even all) are gifts received through the years. As I look at each item, I remember each special relationship and somehow the "chore" becomes something almost magical. Christmas music in the background reminds me of the joy and the reason behind Christmas and I am suddenly filled once again by the love extended to us.

Our tree? Well, some people may think our tree is a bit on the skimpy side, but the four of us like it. It is a little, purple, tabletop tree that friends purchased for Becca when she was in the hospital. When Becca saw it set up, she was thrilled and even mentioned that gifts (…gifts? …time will tell…) could go under the table. Perfect. And it is another reminder of love, along with the reminder of God's magnificent gifts of healing and provision.

To my dear Facebook friend who asked me to blog about this topic, I hope that somewhere within this writing you found a small piece of encouragement. It's okay if you don't put a tree up, but in doing so, I hope you were able to find and relive lots of little memories and remember your loved ones too. Christmas should be about being able to find joy - even if that means you have to look hard for it. Somewhere out there, it is there for you to find.

My closing paragraph has been copied from another Facebook friend's status. I thought it was an interesting way of looking at things.

Did you know that the chopping down of the Christmas tree represents the death of Christ and putting it back up again represents the resurrection of Christ. Did you know that the wreaths we hang are never ending circles, that represents eternity? Candy canes were made to look like shepherd hooks and the colors red , Jesus' blood, white, purity. The gifts, represents the 3 gifts the wise men brought for Jesus. So when you are running around trying to get the "perfect gift", stop yourself take a deep breath and remember we have been given the perfect gift, Jesus Christ was given to us to remove all of our sins. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, Jesus. Merry CHRISTmas!!!

Seasons of Change

As a Toastmaster, you are taught that there are three speeches that take place every time you speak. 1.) The speech you wrote, 2.) The speech you give, and 3.) The speech the listeners heard. The first two are rather obvious, but the speech given and the speech that was heard should be about the same, shouldn't they?

Yesterday, I mentioned that I went to church a couple of times on Sunday. I would think that after sitting through basically an hour's worth of talking, I would have a lot of information that I could repeat. That is hardly the case! In fact, without looking at my notes, there is only about one sentence that remains with me from each sermon. Sad, but true!

Pastor John mentioned that he encouraged people to repent in his Christmas cards one year. He said it wasn't the best received Christmas cards he'd ever sent. (Hmmm…)

Pastor Episcopo said that God is able to forgive us even when we are struggling to forgive ourselves.

Interestingly enough, in both cases the sentences were not the main point of the sermon…more like a passing sentence that stood out to me. However, they are little like little gold nuggets that encouraged me to think and reflect.

Why is it that so many of us struggle with repentance and forgiving ourselves? I think that most people (if not all) have an innate sense of right and wrong. We ultimately respect our Heavenly Father so much that we feel that guilt and shame. Whether or not we choose to acknowledge and accept that may be a completely different story.

For me, it isn't the repentance that I struggle with. I struggle with forgiving myself of my wrongs. Other people can make their mistakes and it seems as though it isn't long before it is water under the bridge. But to forgive myself? Oofda!

How do I work to get better? First and foremost, I need to remember that I am created in the image of God. He loves me with all of His heart and wants the best for me. I need to spend time with Him and in the Bible.

If you are looking for a great passage to encourage you along these lines, try Psalm 103. If you don't have a Bible handy and want to read on the computer, www.biblegateway.com is a fantastic reference. There, you can enter the text you are looking for and choose to read in whatever Bible translation you prefer.

My point today? Choose your words carefully. You never know what someone is going to take away with them. And more importantly, we are living in a time of grace. As we remember Jesus' birth, we can remember the reason He was born. That was ultimately to die for our sins. If God can love us that much, we can certainly feel free to draw near to Him, accept His love and grace, and learn to forgive ourselves as we grow in Christ.

Wrong Worship

I went to church yesterday, not just once, but twice! That must make me a pretty good, religious person, huh. Ha! Hardly! The bare bones raw truth of the matter is that I really did not want to attend either service. Egads! Did I really admit that? Yes...I had my reasons...probably a whole list of 'em! But that is just a case in point.

Church isn't what makes a person good or religious. It is a place for us to gather, learn, and be edified for the week ahead. But for some reason, church is one of those places where you can find a lot of people watching what is going on. And of course, along with the watching is someone passing a judgement.

You see, churches are filled with all sorts of people. Of course, there are people who attend because they want to and are truly worshiping their Lord and Savior. There are people who attend because they are "forced". People are there because they want to know more, but haven't yet committed to following Christ yet. And I'm sure there are thousands of different explanations that could be added to the list. The bottom line? We are all people, and as such, we fall short of perfection. Church is a place that should be welcoming and accepting, loving those who are there as Christ loves us.

I would like to share a video with you. It is a satire designed to show us the sad nature of what all too many of us do each and every week. I may not have originally wanted to go to the services that I attended yesterday, but I can now say that God used that time to work on me and my heart. I was blessed by my time there and am very thankful that I went. Take a moment to watch. I think you'll enjoy it and the brutal truth it sheds...Let's see if we can change that, moment by moment, day by day, and week by week.God can change our hearts and lives if we allow Him to and keep our focus on Him. To God be the glory!