Lost & Found

Lost. That is quite a word! Without looking it up, I would say that it means 1.) unable to be found or 2.) A feeling that leaves a person with the illusion of being dazed or confused.

As an adult, I have experienced the desire to be lost - to run away for awhile and forget about life while I rejuvenate. I have experienced what it feels like to want to tell someone else to get lost - as in, "Go away. I really don't want to be with you right now." And just maybe, you could get me to admit that I have wanted to tell that person I don't ever want to see them again. I also know what it feels like to feel lost in my own little world (dazed and confused).

When do these feelings arise? Typically in the midst of difficulty or challenge. Not only that, I think the feeling of being lost or wanting to get lost arises when we deeply desire the love of God to surround us. In looking for answers, no matter who we are or what we say we believe, I feel led to think that when we reach the bottom of our pit, we know God is there for us. We tend to cry out to Him in our darkest hour of need - often when we feel lost.

I promised to be open with you. It is not easy to write or admit that I have really been wrestling this year. As the year has gone on, up until the last month or so, I have felt quite lost. Funny thing is, I don't know if it shows to the outside world or not. I think I might hide it well - at least from most of the world. My closest friends know most of my struggles.

As each of these challenges cross my path, I am forced to deal with it in whatever way I know how. Sometimes what I already know works, other times I am forced to find another way to confront the issue. No matter what, God uses each difficulty or obstacle to continue to grow my faith.

Do you remember my challenge from last week? You were challenged to join me as I spy God at work. I hope you are finding blessing in that challenge. I can definitely report that I am!

Here is a true example of that: On Sunday, my pastor reminded people that when we are tempted, God ALWAYS provides a way out. I was feeling pretty strong that day. I was feeling strong Monday - well, at least most of the day. Then I started to feel weak. My mind started to wander thinking about my "night on the town" Tuesday night. Today, I was torn on how I felt. I thought I could be strong. In reality, I don't know if I could have remained that way! For those curious minds, let's just say that tonight I was a woman with some money and a couple hours of free time… (keep your thoughts PG please!) I really feel like God intervened. Near the time I was going to get ready to go, I was told that I didn't have to drive Becca to school tonight! Huh. I wondered what I would do with my night. Now I really had some free time! Hannah and her friend Morgan came home with a couple movies. I was able to sit with them and Tony to watch the movie together. Not only that, I was able to start writing sooner!

To me, this is truly a story of God at work. He met me right where I needed Him to. I was spared all temptation (except the chocolate chip cookies Hannah made!). Although I was feeling lost, God picked me up, encouraged me and sent me on my way to try again.

So, the next time you are feeling lost or feeling like getting lost, try spending some time with God or find a friend who can encourage you in that direction. You may just find that hidden blessing and spy God at work!