Marriage...Spice it Up!

My creative brain has turned to mush! I have so many thoughts spinning around in my head because I have another speech to give tomorrow. Thinking about it now, it would have been a great day to simply take half an hour and start writing - write whatever came to mind - whether it was coherent thoughts or not. But…hindsight is 20/20. For tonight, I guess I am stuck with my literal 20/400 vision. (Yes, I am very thankful for contacts and prescription eye wear!)

I mentioned taking a night off from writing tonight. My daughter wisely informed me that choosing that option could be a dangerous temptation to get out of the habit! Wow! Where'd she come from? Her wisdom is spot on, so here I am!

Given my mushy brain, I decided to grab a favorite beverage and begin by looking at various news sites for inspiration. I didn't look far! Yahoo, of all places. The first thing I saw was "7 Ways to Spice up Your Marriage". Okay, who couldn't use that? Without further adieu, I submit to you a basic list of what Yahoo's article said along with some of my own comments interjected.

1. Eliminate a routine date night.

            "Romance and erotica are about everything [but consistency and predictability]."

     Okay…break the routine…since we don't have a regular date night, I guess we are alright on this one!

2. Stop being Facebook friends to preserve the little mystery you can.

     Tony isn't on Facebook much. I'm sure he sees little more than my status or perhaps what he might read over my shoulder. I don't feel like defriending my husband on Facebook will add mystery. It didn't seem to matter before he was on Facebook. Perhaps this one is a suggestion for the younger generation or a more techy crowd.

3. Get We-mail.

     Hmm….I kind of like the idea of this one - an e-mail address for loving and flirtatious e-mail only. Nope. We wouldn't do it. Perhaps a text back and forth would accomplish the same thing.

4. Commit to intimacy at least once a week. Research shows that couples who do have better relationships and quality of life overall.

     Ah…no comment? lol Remember suggestion #2? Yeah, my intimate life can remain a mystery. No need to share that with the world!

5. Postpone that argument. (Yahoo suggested up to 3 months!)

     Three months is a really long time. Some things need to be discussed sooner. I will agree though. There are times when heated conversations come up that could be avoided if postponed. I am thankful that this is not really much of an issue in our home!

6. Use "we", "our", and "us" rather than "I", "me", and "you" to better resolve conflicts.

     Problems are resolved faster without pointing fingers! Take your time before you speak and choose your words carefully.

7. Engage in "chore-play".

     Working together on housework helps to cultivate teamwork and circumvent resentment. “Researchers in the Netherlands found that the key to female arousal seems to be deep relaxation and a lack of anxiety,” says Kerner.

     As a female, I will certainly say that I have mixed feelings about this one. I must say that I think that it is my responsibility to have the house clean for my husband. However, being that I have a man who has willingly helped with various chores around the house, I must say that I do appreciate the times he helps and I do feel a lot more relaxed and relieved of some self-pressured expectations. Not only that, "chore-play" allows us to be together in an active way, allowing us to talk and even flirt if we want to.

     I'm not sure men and women will ever fully understand each other. Mark Gungor teaches a seminar called, "Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage". I appreciated a few of the things that Mark said because it really helped me to understand my marriage better. For one - men's brains are compartmentalized. They don't typically cross from one area to the next. (Think waffles.) Women's brains are able to do lots of things at the same time. Information is constantly streaming. (Think spaghetti.) Not only that, Mark assured us that men really CAN think about nothing! Imagine that, ladies! Nothing? How is that even possible?

     Learning to understand your spouse is important. Communication is key! Be sure you invest the time into your marriage to insure that it will be the best marriage ever! And if there is one thing that I have learned to be true -  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Two Christians that are bound together in Christ are stronger than the individuals themselves. Do the best you can to keep Christ as the center of your marriage. He can hold it together even when you are weak if you allow Him to.